Gap year

In retrospect, what was needed immediately after quitting my job was a gap year. Yeah, that would have been a good idea. On the university's dime. Don't know what I was thinking. Probably wasn't thinking. Now I'm just scrambling to keep things together, when I might have been tanned, rested and ready to start another career.

first and final thoughts on Rocky Point

Rocky Point is a shit hole/No doubt about it./once you get away from the beach/it is a broken town, waiting to be put out of its misery/Perhaps this is bcause it is offseason, and midweek/but that's when a place shows its true colors/naked and unadorned/still, i do like wandering a new place.don't ever forget that/if you need to shake things up/.it's always a way to keep yourself amuserd

Break Fast

After seven days, I wondered what my first real meal might be/The beer and bran cereal last night doesn't really count/It was the breakfast buffett at the Pescano del Sol/Except that I had chicken instead of eggs/and felt the protein coursing through my veins/and yogurt, granola and mang0 (or papaya, I can never rememeber which is which)/and two pancakes for desert (so much for giving up white flour.

The masseuse from Maui

The masseuse from Maui/doesn't like it much in Santa Fe/She's always cold/Been here a few months/had a gallery this winter/took in a st.john's student to help pay the rent/a chinese girl who'd been done wrong by some young Western bad boy/and was freaking out/stayed on her computer all day/asked the masseuse why she wasn't married or didn't have a kid/not in the cards this life, she said/had plenty of others before and after/so there's no rush

The form of life

"The principle thing in life is its form. That which loses its form, ends itself, and its the same with our everyday existence."

--Chekov, Three Sisters

Day 1

Well, I wake up this morning with no sense of where I am going to go, only that I will be gone for the next three weeks.I've already delayed my leaving a day, since I vowed to be out by April 1st. From somewhere it comes into my head that I am not ready to make any decision and decide to get an room by the airport for tonight. Realizing I would not be able to make a decision of which hotel, since it took all my energy just to come to this, I just go on hotwire and pick a 2 1/2 star hotel for $55, although with tax it ends up being close to $70. I decided I need to go on a hike first and so I start driving on I-10 and decide I am going to go to Picahcio Peak, which I've never climbed (and in fact am not even sure you can climb), but after driving for a while I realize it' s a lot farther than I thought, and when I see a sign for Saguaro National Park, I decide to go there instead, although I am not sure where exactly it will take me but hope it leads to a part of the park I know. In fact, I find a visitor center and a hike I did not know about, and so although it is hot, over ninety degrees, I have a nice hike. At the airport hotel, I am still considering the possibility for flights leaving the country. Indeed, that was one of the reason I got a hotel near the airport. I can't get out to Thailand until Tuesday but I could stay there until then. I could, however, leave for Cancun tomorrow for around five hundred dollars. Instead, I come up with the idea that I am going to do a purge or cleanse up in Santa fe, and start doing a google search and find a place that actually sells a ten day cleanse and I persuade myself that I will do this and now I only need to find a place to stay. At night, I go to the casino with the idea that I will see if I can play some Texas hold em. While waiting to get in a game I throw twenty bucks in a slot, and just as I am about to lose it all, I wint $200. Most I've ever won on a slot. I get in the poker game and winf fifty bucks in that, although I was up probably about $150 at one point. All in all, not a bad day. But what's next?

Been a while

Well, it's been a while since I posted. The health situation with my father has been taking up most of my energy these past six weeks and caused me to put my plans on hold. It started with an anomoly on an exam for a totally unrelated matter. And now, after countless doctor visits including to three separate vascular surgeons, the result is that he has an lagre abdominal aortic aneruysm that for all intents and purposes is inoperable. The standard way to do this procedure would be to cut into the abdomen. But the doctors all agree that there is a good chance he would not survive the operation given his age and condition. Many AAA's can be treated endovascularly, by going in through the leg. But given the location of his aneurysm, the fact that it is attached itself to the kidney arteries, this is not possible. So now it is just a matter of time for it to burst. The thing is, it could be tomorrow, next month, next year or in five years. But in all likelihood, this is the thing that will kill him. And there is nothing that can be done in a non-surgical mode to treat it. So there is a case to be made that he might have been better off not knowing. In any case, this has pretty much consumed my energy this past month and a half--a saga that came to an end yesterday with a final verdict from one of the best vascular surgeons in the country.

Well, at least all of this kept me out of an earthquake. Before we started down this path I had actually booked a ticket to be in Japan for the month of March but cancelled it when this medical situation hit, so I missed out on being there for the earthquake. Having been fifty miles from the epicenter for the Sichuan earthquake of 2008, I was not sorry to miss it. I am not sure what my next move will be, but with this last verdict by the doctor at least some things are cleared up. Still awaiting a verdict in another case, but that's a long story I will tell at some point. For now, I have a half marathon to run this Sunday. More later