Gap year

In retrospect, what was needed immediately after quitting my job was a gap year. Yeah, that would have been a good idea. On the university's dime. Don't know what I was thinking. Probably wasn't thinking. Now I'm just scrambling to keep things together, when I might have been tanned, rested and ready to start another career.

first and final thoughts on Rocky Point

Rocky Point is a shit hole/No doubt about it./once you get away from the beach/it is a broken town, waiting to be put out of its misery/Perhaps this is bcause it is offseason, and midweek/but that's when a place shows its true colors/naked and unadorned/still, i do like wandering a new place.don't ever forget that/if you need to shake things up/.it's always a way to keep yourself amuserd

Break Fast

After seven days, I wondered what my first real meal might be/The beer and bran cereal last night doesn't really count/It was the breakfast buffett at the Pescano del Sol/Except that I had chicken instead of eggs/and felt the protein coursing through my veins/and yogurt, granola and mang0 (or papaya, I can never rememeber which is which)/and two pancakes for desert (so much for giving up white flour.

The masseuse from Maui

The masseuse from Maui/doesn't like it much in Santa Fe/She's always cold/Been here a few months/had a gallery this winter/took in a st.john's student to help pay the rent/a chinese girl who'd been done wrong by some young Western bad boy/and was freaking out/stayed on her computer all day/asked the masseuse why she wasn't married or didn't have a kid/not in the cards this life, she said/had plenty of others before and after/so there's no rush

The form of life

"The principle thing in life is its form. That which loses its form, ends itself, and its the same with our everyday existence."

--Chekov, Three Sisters

Day 1

Well, I wake up this morning with no sense of where I am going to go, only that I will be gone for the next three weeks.I've already delayed my leaving a day, since I vowed to be out by April 1st. From somewhere it comes into my head that I am not ready to make any decision and decide to get an room by the airport for tonight. Realizing I would not be able to make a decision of which hotel, since it took all my energy just to come to this, I just go on hotwire and pick a 2 1/2 star hotel for $55, although with tax it ends up being close to $70. I decided I need to go on a hike first and so I start driving on I-10 and decide I am going to go to Picahcio Peak, which I've never climbed (and in fact am not even sure you can climb), but after driving for a while I realize it' s a lot farther than I thought, and when I see a sign for Saguaro National Park, I decide to go there instead, although I am not sure where exactly it will take me but hope it leads to a part of the park I know. In fact, I find a visitor center and a hike I did not know about, and so although it is hot, over ninety degrees, I have a nice hike. At the airport hotel, I am still considering the possibility for flights leaving the country. Indeed, that was one of the reason I got a hotel near the airport. I can't get out to Thailand until Tuesday but I could stay there until then. I could, however, leave for Cancun tomorrow for around five hundred dollars. Instead, I come up with the idea that I am going to do a purge or cleanse up in Santa fe, and start doing a google search and find a place that actually sells a ten day cleanse and I persuade myself that I will do this and now I only need to find a place to stay. At night, I go to the casino with the idea that I will see if I can play some Texas hold em. While waiting to get in a game I throw twenty bucks in a slot, and just as I am about to lose it all, I wint $200. Most I've ever won on a slot. I get in the poker game and winf fifty bucks in that, although I was up probably about $150 at one point. All in all, not a bad day. But what's next?