Reading Lyotard

So while I am at Borders I am also reading and taking notes for the Postmodernism course I am supposed to teach in the fall. Currently I am reading Lyotard's The Postmodern Condition. ON the one hand, I do find all this stuff sort of fascinating because it is all new to me. As someone trained in the anlaytic tradition, I have dismissed most of this postmodernism stuff. But it is actually pretty interesting. On the other hand, I do have this "doctor, my brain hurts" feeling and right now really feel as if this is not the time to be engaging the analytical part of my brain.

Stuck in Unstuck

In Borders reading self-help books again. At random I pick up a book, Unstuck, which is supposed to be "Your Guide to the Seven Stage Journey out of Depression." But it seems pretty worthless. I turn to the chapter called "Surrend to Change" which starts in a promising manner. It promises to demonstrate how "letting go of control can actually move you forward in your journey. I think, sure, this sounds right. In a sense I have been trying to control things by trying to come up with a plan, even though up to this point I haven't been able to. But the chapter is about meditation, yoga and exercise. Which I am sure are all fine, but which I am already doing.

A Plan?

I really cannot stay in this house more than one more week. That's it. Really. So what are my options:

1/15-1/18 (Phoenix)

1/19-until I get galleys (Baja)

Galley Day +3-Feb 17 (Tucson)

2/17-2/22 (chicago)

2/22-4/22: (Japan/Thailand)

5/10-5/24: (Hawaii)

And after Baja

And after Baja, things get even more vague if that is possible. Maybe go to Chicago in mid-February for a ski trip, then to Thailand for a couple of months and return in late April before the book comes out. Then there are a couple of conferences I could promote my book at. Finally, there is a couple month driving around America tour I have planned.

Baja

Right now I am contemplating a trip to Baja after I finish reviewing the manuscript and running a half marathon. It's a stupid thing to do on a number of counts. First, it is going to cost too much, even if I drive and stay in cheap hotels. Second, it is dangerous, especially because I will be driving down alone. Not only are there crazy drivers on the road, but as anyone who reads the news knows, there is a lot of drug crime in Mexico, not to mention the hassle from police at all the checkpoints. Finally, a three week trip I am contemplating will completely eliminate the modicum of physical conditioning I have build up. But since it is stupid, I will probably do it.

Stuck

Picked up a book with this title at Borders. It was interesting, although I only leafed through it. One chapter was focused on being stuck in the present, which seemed to describe my current condition. The author describes how we have lost the ability for delayed gratification and want everything now and that this somehow leads to us being stuck in the present. Not sure what the argument is, but it made sense when I was reading it. I should pay close attention because I am about to make a move that is going once again to squander precious resources.

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in

Back from Santa Fe. I kept no blog while I was staying at the Zen Center because I was instructed not to do so. But I think the reason given was sound, namely, that when you keep a blog you are conceptualizing your experience already, seeing it in a certain way, thinking about how you are going to write about it rather than simply having the experience. So, I put aside the blogginf for a while. This makes two substantive disruptions: once because TGFW (The Great Fire Wall) and once because of WWBD (What Would Buddha Do?). So having finished things up there I have a lot to write about and say about this experience, but right now I don't feel like dwelling in the past, although I am writing about it and will post something at some point.

The big news is that I've accepted a teaching position in China next year. Starting in September I will be the Foreign Expert at Sichuan University in Chengdu, one of the elite universities in the Chinese educational system. I will be teaching graduate students various and sundry topics in Western thought. I accepted this job with very mixed emotions. On the one hand, I really thought I was out of the academic racket. But, to quote Michael Corlerone: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in." Of course, no one is pulling me back in. But I felt I had do to something. I was getting antsy, feeling useless and running out of money. And this job sort of fell into my lap. I tell myself it is just for a year while I research this China book I wanted to write anyway. But I am very ambivalent.

This means, though, I need to figure out what to do from January to July. The book is finally scheduled to come out in late April, and I want to be around for that. But before and after that time, I really don't have any plans. I need to formulate some. More on this later.