WTF

I mean, thi s is just embarrassing, and I am embarrassed for myself, this inability to explain myself, this unwillingness to come up with the next move. I guess the thing I feel most strongly in all this is that I need to continue to take some time off (NTO), or rather, that I have not even seriously begun to take time off, that this last year has been mostly wasted. Still, as I look at it, there are a couple of obvious optiones, for example, either starting MSW or the SU teaching job next year, which would provide me with one more year off. Now, there would be nothing wrong with taking one more year off to wander around. But that is such a vague goal as to be unacheiveable. And it also would not be cheap, although I could purchase an around the world ticket and be able to afford it. But the SENSELESS WANDERING OPTION, as I will name it, does not seem especially attractive to me. Because the other thing I feel as strongly as I feel the need to continue to take time off is that I would really like to continue to get in shape. The ten mile run on Saturday reminded me of how much I like being in shape and running and reinforced in me the desire to continue to train and to get in decent shape. And any serious training (ST) regimen will be inconsistent with the SWO. As well it would seem pretty much that being in China (BIC) is inconsistent with ST. guess the other piece to throw into the puzzle is that I really cannot stay in Tucson for more than a month (OTM). So where does this leave us?: SWO and BIC are not consistent with ST. NTO and ST are consistent. OTM is consistent with BIC and SWO. The problem is that the trump card--OTM--would at this time seem to be achievable only by SWO or BIC. But SWO and BIC and inconsistent with ST. So something--probably my sanity--has got to give. There is also the overriding imperative WRITE (W).