Some Options

OPTIONS
1. Get the job at CEA and do the online MSW program. Analysis: Seems very unlikely that I will get the CEA job. There is still some question about whether I want to go back to a regular job. This is something I should decide before continuing on the route of the job search.
2. Three books/five years: Woaizhongguo: My Year Searching for Love on Chinese Internet; Philosopher-chef: Sauteing My Way to Self-Transformation; A Wisdom for All Seasons: Travels with Socrates, Buddha, Confucius, and Thoreau. Analysis: This would have to be self-financed, which I could probably afford. At the end of this period, I would have to find some job. I always said five years away would be a good thing.
3. Spend this year travelling and then take the job at Sichuan University. Analysis: This only came about because I happened to meet Bill. Still, it looks like I might be a leading candidate for this position. I mean, I don't necessarily want to teach in Chengdu, or anywhere in China. But I could actually be working on the China dating book while this is going on.
4. Spend next year in China working on the book and then return to the States to get MSW. Analysis: I'm thinking of spending the two months travelling and then probably needing to get a teaching job in the spring, but maybe studying and blowing all the resources.

A Possible Development

Actually made the first cut for a job at CEA, a company which puts together oversead education experiences for college students. I mean, I spent long enough putting together the application letter, but that in itself means nothing. And besides, there is a long way to go, but it has me contemplating whether in fact I am ready to join the regular work force. On the one hand, I am so bored out of my skull right now, I would do almost anything, and this actually looks like a very interesting position. It would be nice to be useful again. And there is no use in denying that it would be nice to have a regular income. On the other hand, there is something to be said about extending the break for a while. But in that case, I need to come up with a plan how to spend this time off. But at least it is making me confront whether I am ready to enter the world again.

Wouldn't it be nice

Wouldn't it be nice,
Just to settle into a quiet life somewhere, somehow
--subscribe to New York Review of Books and New Republic
--join a gym
--buy large sizes of toothpaste, shampoo and shaving cream
--train for a race
--have a place to call home
It just seems like such another world to me now,
and perhaps that is how is how it should be
And perhaps it's a case of those on the outside wanting in,
and those on the inside wanting out

what i'm doing

Working on stuff.

1. Editing an ssay accepted for Journal of American-Asian Relations on the film group I held while a Peace Corps volunteer.

2.Putting together a selection of my Chinese student essays and publishing it on amazon and pledging to donate profits to Sichuan Earthquake Relief. Putting together a website in conjunction with the book (you have no idea how long that took). Next, trying to pitch the project to various folks.

3. Evaluating a project for Potomac Books.

Half baked

The other day I forced myself to come up with five possibilities for getting out of here by the end of August. In no particular order they include (1) Get a job teaching in China (2) Travel in China for the fall (3) move somewhere in the States for 6 months as a sort of personal retreat (4) work in Yellowstone for reminader of summer and then volunteer in either Haiti or Tibet (5) Drive around country visiting National Parks and camping. Yeah,I know. Pretty lame and rather half baked

The most difficult thing

In connection with yesterday's post, it is not so much the loss of routine that is hard. Academia has somewhat inured me to this. It is more the loss of prestige. To go from respected professor to, well, nothing, is quite a fall. I am sure there is some lesson in the Buddhist conception of the self to be gained from all of this. But right now, it is probably the most difficult thing.

American Splendor

Listened to an interview on Fresh Air with the guy who the movie American Slendor was about. A cartoonist. Actually he wasn't even a cartoonist but came up with the story line for the cartoon, which was based on his life. I can't even tell you his name now and I only barely remember hearing about the movie. So I guess what struck me was that he worked at a very boring job as a file clerk for his entire life and did the cartoon stuff on the side. So while he is being interviewed Terry Gross asks him if he found life hard after retiring, and he said, yes, he did not know what to do with himself and had to be hospitialized on and off for a year and a half. Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Random thought 717

Gratitude. a sentiment I have expressed too infrequently in my life. At some point, I should sit down and write (not necessarily send) lettes to people to whom I owe a debt of gratitude...Getting crazy ideas these days. Doing conferences in New Zealand. Running around China. Extended camping trips. It is the fight or flight complex kicking in. Also the end of the summr thing...I was going to sketch out five possible future scenarios yesterday. I should at least sketch out three...On the other hand, it still seems valid for me to take an extended break, that this is something I deserve, and that just to wander aimlessly for a couple of years would be fine, although it would be nice to have more definite plans that at least involved earning some income...The book on China, the Philosopher-Chef book, the wisdom for all seasons book...I could see spending five years writing these three books. If at the end of it none of them has made it, well, find something else...Chinese and classical guitar, two things I have made so little progress in proportionate to the time invested...Still, the conference in New Zealand seems like a valid idea. Maybe kick start me. Certainly a worthy goal...So I am thinking next fall will be a wandering season and then try to set up something definite for winter/spring semester in China, depending on when the book comes out...I sure would like to get in shape to run a marathon or at least a half, but that would require remaing in the states for at least another 3-4 months, which I really could do, although I could not do it here...I mean, there is no reason to jump on the China book and could just as easily start it next year, but if I did that I would have to go somewhere this fall, preferably somewhere where I could earn some money while I'm trying to pitch the book... I certainly can't afford to run around Asia, so if I go overseas it will have to be to a definite place and with a definite purpose...It does seem I should not rush into anything long term right now. I did apply for the one job with CEA and if, per impossibile, I was offerd it, I would probably take it, I don't think it is something I am going to have to worry about...Whatever the situation, I vow not to be still living in Arizona in September

Global Volunteer Network

So after a breakfast at Village Inn, I make my way over to Barnes and Nobles. I stop first in the travel section and check out some books on China, thinking that perhaps one of the things I can do is to sketch out two months in China for the fall. Well, I wander over to the travel essays section and come across a few books on volunteering. I flip the page to New Zealand and see something called the Global Volunteer Network which, in addition to hosting a lot of volunteer activities also runs a yearly "Be the Change Program," where people go to learn about social entrepeneuring, possibly starting a volunteer organization or working for one. The workshop is for those who want to:
Start a non-profit/charity organization
Get paid to make a difference in the lives of others.
Get a job with a non-profit/charity
Start a social enterprise or project
Learn how to get a job with the United Nations
Or if you just want to learn more about the field of Social Entrepreneurship and /or International Development

Well, so I end up going to the web page and it looks really interesting. The conference is in New Zealand Nove 21-28th and I am seriously considerring going, especially since I may well be in that part of the world anyway.

Changing driver's license

Just registered my car in Arizona and got an Arizona driver's license. Feels very strange. For twenty years, my car and license has been from Utah. I've been holding off of doing these things for a year for some reason. They were my last vestiges of connection to the state. Sort of like signing the divorce papers, I guess. Just adding to the general disorientation. I mean, if there is one thing I am certain of, it is that I do not want to live here. For all of the visiting I have done, this place has never felt like a potential home. The flip side of this is, it does not seem like any place could ever feel like home.

4 hour work week

Ran across the book "The four-hour work week" yesterday. I had seen the book before but never really looked at it. Now I wish'd I had. I could have used some of the advice when I was contemplating leaving my own job. I think it would have helped me a little more in the post-quitting planning, as well as making me feel a little better about the decision. I certainly would have spent the past year differently has I read it. Now, I am not sure exactly how it helps me going forward. I guess the sort of lifestyle it advocates is a much less settled one than the one I am currently contemplating, at least in the long run. And it is worth thinking that the next permanent move will probably be my last, andthat for all my screw ups I do possess a rather enviable state of freedom right now. In any case, I would certainly recommend the book to anyone thinking of quitting their job.

No spring, no summer

I commented earlier about how my travels had left me without any experience of spring because during the prime spring months I was mostly in countries that were immersed in heat. And now it feels like I am missing out on summer--that is the summer of camping and hiking, of long days outside in the woods--because I am stuck in this desert hellhole. No spring, no summer. If that's not a metaphor for my life, I don't know what is.

Louis

Well, maybe just jot a few thoughts down first thing in the morning to catch the general drift of things. Last night watched a show Louis C.K., about the life of a stand-up comic in New York. I had started to watch the first episode last week but found in uninteresting. But last night's episode hooked me. I think because the show dealt with age. The guy's only 42, but talked about how from now on it is all downhill. The next year will never be better than the last one. He was speaking physically, I guess, but since so much of our well-being is linked to our body, it could certainly be applied in other areas. He had just gotten divorced, and his brother was lamenting that he was consigning himself to dying alone, since no one would want him at this age. Yes, physical decline and solitary death--what's not to like.

Today is the first day...

...of being offiically unemployed. First day in twenty years I was not officially associated with a university. Feels strange. Really, I didn't think it would feel any different but it does. I can no longer say "I am on sabbatical." Instead, I must confront the full implications of what I have done. I think I will take today to reread, "Who moved my cheese." I need to plot some strategy for the future (as opposed to strategy for the past). I should map out at least five different scenarios for the future. Well, one thing is I am hestitant to apply for that university job in Beijing. I sort of like the notion of being a free agent, unattached to any institution. Since I feel I sort of wasted the year paid off I need to do something to make sure I do better with the ensuing time. Try to put an end to the sloppiness. Remember, the trip you end up taking for the most part is the trip you planned.