It seems all I am capable of now is regret. I should have done something this summer instead of sitting on my ass here: worked in Yellowstone, volunteered at SMC, drove around the country visiting National Parks. In retrospect, it is all clear. Why at the time did I not see any of it? And why can I not see anything now about what I should do next, when in six months time that will probably be clear as well. When exactly did I make the decision to spend the summer here? Was it when I bought the gym membership?
It’s not that I don’t have ideas about what to do next. It’s more that they all strike me as crazy. One thing I have trotted out is the idea of spending three months at the Shambhala Mountain Center. They have not even returned my e-mail. I looked into renting a cabin at another retreat center for a month, but it was already taken. I am seriously considering spending whatever it takes so I can go and spend a month at the Shambhala Mountain Center. I seem to be unable to find anywhere to go for about a month on a spiritual retreat.
I am now thinking about a winter Dhatun at either SMC or Reggie’s Ray retreat center. This would be from about December 11th-January 8th. So, that would leave me three months. But I would probably feel compelled to spend from Thanksgiving and the first part of December in Tucson. Which leaves me from mid September to mid November. A good time to be in Greece. If I just hadn’t used them damn Delta miles to fly to Bangkok.
Now I find myself looking at international marathon schedules.
All I know is that I have to be out of here by the middle of September, which is a month longer than I initially planned
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