Thoughts Before Leaving

Well, off in a few hours, and ever ambivalent about this trip. Hell, I remember that semester I went to Florence, I was considering just getting off the plane in New York and spending the time there. That's about how I feel about this trip in all honesty: it's something I could just as well not do. As I say, the thought of spending a semester in the classroom--and worse, a semester in Chengdu--is not something I particularly relish...In any case, I think it's a good practice not to carry around conceptions in your head. Not to feel good about the trip one minute and bad about the trip the next. All thoughts are just thoughts; dismiss them and experience whatever it is that is in front of you. I think the Buddhists got that much right...Another thought is that it is definitely not a good idea--at least for me--to leave a trip vaguely defined. I feel it parallels my current situation. You should set out with a definite idea of what you want to accomplish, on a journey and in life (which of course is a journey). Vaguely drifint around waiting for inspiration for determine your next step is no way to go through either.