What was I thinking?

At this point, all my plans seem sort of silly and senseless. I come to this conclusion after reading an e-mail from a friend--a young man who was in the Peace Corps with me and who is still in China, making it a full four years. He now has his scores high enough on HSK to get into the best grad school in Chinese studies. He is a young man with a bright future in front of him, and I couldn't be happier because he is a truly decent young man. It strikes me that if I were serious about Chinese, I would have stayed over there. Granted, the place I am glad I didn't stay. But then what am I doing going over there for a semester? Does it make any sense? I can't hope for my language skills to develop in any meaningful way in the three or four months I am planning on being over there. And if they did develop, what would I do with them anyway?





But the China trip not making sense is nothing compared to the rest of the plan, which had included going to Greece for the summer and then to India, with perhaps a side trip in Concord, Massachusetts. I mean, just the other day I had convinced myself that the Concord thing was crazy and was going to reduce the trip to China-Greece-India, and now the last two stages seem just as crazy. I mean, what would I do in Greece for two months? I am accepted into the American School and maybe could find an apartment for that time--maybe--but outside of going to the library every day, there is really not a helluva lot to do. Not like with the summer session. Ah, those were the days. And don't even get me started on India. So now, with the collapse of any plan, I am completely at a loss as to what to do next. But it looks, because of the ticket my cousin is getting for me, that I will be going to China, although I have added side trips to Japan and Thailand, again for reasons I cannot now fathom, and am even supposed to meet someone in Thailand and do some travelling, spending money I don't really have to spend.