Exhuasted

One thing about how long this has dragged on--and I think it has been more than three weeks since I sent the initial letter--is that by the time I actually sign the contract sometime hopefully early next week, is that I will be so fucking exhausted so as not to care anymore. This has just been the most exhausting stretch of time since my sister died. And there has been a lot of parallels: the constant tiredness, the never feeling relaxed or at rest, the inability to be refreshed by a night's sleep. And I guess it really is like something dying, because this has been who I have been for more than twenty years. So I think it is somewhat fitting there has been this long drawn out vigil, and that I didn't just sign a contract at the end of last year and leave it at that