The first day of the rest of,,,,oh forget it

Well, today was the first day of classes at my university and hence my first official day as a former academic (although technically this won't start until I sign the contract for the terminal sabbatical which I'd hoped to do today given the ways lawyers work of course is taking longer than you'd think).

I have been thinking today (not only today but especially today) about a friend of mine from many years ago who made a life changing choice that demonstrated to me what true courage is. This was someone who changed gender, and when I think of personal bravery I think of him (now her). Despite incredible societal disapproval and social pressure, she was faithful to her vision of what path she should follow. My change, no matter how drastic, will never compare to what she did. When I conceive of the difficulties of my own situation, and especially the inner chaos that often arises, I think of her and I know she went through a lot of the same self questioning and emerged on the other end of it. It is a great source of reassurance and comfort to be personally acquainted with someone who struggled with the same issues about whether to follow a comfortable, easy route that others expected or to strike out on a new path that would invovle risks and that others would think incredibly foolish. Again, what she did is on such a vastly higher scale than what I am undertaking. It is like someone who is training for a first marathon being inspired by an Olympic athelte, and I will stick with that comparison because I think of what she did in the personal realm was truly Olympian. My own burden really does become lightened when I contemplate her journey. I also come to believe, albeit slightly, that it is possible to come out of the other end of this in a better position than you went in, that if you are faithful to your vision of what you should be, a positive outcome is possible, even if it may not look as such to the rest of the world.