Lawyer

Met with a lawyer today to go over the contract. The only question I had concerned the fact that the contract had left out mention of COBRA, which was something I had specifically asked about. I was also curious about teh 21 day cooling off period which was in the contract. I mean, the dean would put nothing in there out of good will, so there must have been some necessity for that clause. However, there was also a rider where I could override the 21 day clause. Speaking of the dean, I received an e-mail from him reminding me that time is of the essence since they need to higher someone for the fall semester, which starts in less than three weeks. I still wonder whether I should have held out for the on line course. I caved in too quickly on that one. I was so close to writing him back saying, "then i am sorry I caused you the trouble." But the only reason I would have done that would have been out of spite, which is the only reason I would stick around, to spite some people.

Just saw a colleague in the store tonight. He did not realize I had come back last year, thought I had been gone three years. He also asked if I was teaching this fall. Like he'd heard something. So I just said, last time I checked. Well, no doubt people will talk.

If I had to guess where I am right now in terms of certainty that i will leave, I would put it at ninety percent. There is still doubt. As I told my lawyer today, you can never be sure you are doing the right thing. It has been a week, I guess, since I sent in the original e-mail. It has beeen a week of high anxiety, which I guess is to be expected, I mean, if I did not feel incredibly anxious, I think that would be a sign that I had not quite come to grips with my decision.
It is almost impossible for me to get any other work done, for obvious reasons.

It feels strange to be hanging around here, like a ghost.